philosophyonwheels.com

Indulge me on a philosophical detour.  Everyone is busy living their own lives and scurrying around doing whatever it is they need to be doing.  That’s just how life is.  Sometimes two people will start at one place but have varying destinations.  Or other times two people in different locations will start on a journey with the other’s origin as their own destination, with a serendipitous passing in between.  And still other times two people will have a journey with no points in common at all.  (How sad.)  But possibly the most common is having two journeys cross paths at a single intersection.  And what if the two travelers happen on this intersection at the same time; one must yield to the other to allow for both to continue their journey safely.  If you really think about it this is the intrinsic nature of road intersections and traffic lights.  And it’s slightly wondrous to realize that traffic lights allow for everyone’s daily movements to be interwoven together to form the continual dance we call commuting.  (I swear that I’m really not stoned right now.)  And it’s all governed by some lights, wiring, and some computers which use three colors to speak a ubiquitous language to usher travelers towards their destinations.  Whoa, traffic lights … man.

I truly hate stupid intersections. These are the ones that are on a strict timer alternating back and forth to allow traffic to pass in different directions.  Even if there is no one coming from a certain direction, a stupid intersection will stop actual traffic to give the green light to … nobody.  (I want to shoot myself when I get caught in this.)  Gradually intersections became smarter.  Inductions loops were cut into the lanes near the approach of an intersection, and traffic controller system (the big green boxes sitting near every intersection) would process the data and control the intersection appropriately (i.g. changing the light only if there are cars waiting).  These controllers were eventually taught to change their operating mode for different times of day to help minimize waiting times even more.  

And for a time, things were good.  Until you’re driving down a road and getting stopped by a red light at every intersection and it’s taking 233 hours to travel a mile.  (This is another time when I want to shoot myself.)  To help remedy this, traffic lights were synchronized (all the lights changing at the same time).  But this would lead to inevitable stops inherent to the pattern of the synchronization.  Then traffic lights became coordinated.  (This is the bread and butter.)  A master controller talks to all of the individual controllers to create a cascading wave of green lights.  This would theoretically allow someone to zoom through town without hitting a single red light.  Secondarily it would also give one’s ego a victory.  (”Dude, I hit like 13 green lights in a row!”)  And depending on the time of day these cascading greens would be coordinated in the prevailing direction of traffic (i.e. rush hour in the morning vs. evening).  Not only does this save time and prevent traffic, but it also saves gas and limits pollution from energy wasted with start & stop driving.

Such coordination of traffic lights is not a trivial exercise.  God bless all those eccentric MIT nerds and their algorithms for keeping our roads flowing.  (If you’re at work and itching to waste some time, try out this online game to see if you can produce some cascading green lights of your own.)

As with any technological progress, “the people” clamor to know what’s coming next.  Transportation engineers are continually pushing research and development efforts to enhance “intelligent transportation systems.”  (Current implementation include electronic toll collection, traffic sensing technologies, and emergency vehicle notifications.)  But the holy grail is the driverless car.  Two of the biggest research initiatives towards this goal have been the EUREKA Prometheus Project and the DARPA Grand Challenge.  The Prometheus Project is over, but DARPA continues to encourage the development of technology for an autonomous vehicle.  Driverless cars would mean super smart computers on-board every car and in complete control all while in constant contact with every other car on the road.  There might not be any stopping at intersections.  Instead your car will “thread the needle” of crossing traffic at 100 m.p.h.  Remember the two-second rule for following distance?  That will become the 0.02 seconds following parameter.  It’s quite simple really: the biggest problem with the current state of transportation is the human component.  I’ve caught a glimpse of the future of personal mobility and you have nothing to do with it … except to be an uninvolved passenger.  I can’t wait.  ”Computer: drive me to the nearest toilet.  I need to go pee.”

I took my driving exam on July 20.  My birthday is June 1st.  I was sixteen for nearly two months without my license.  While my friends had made Driver’s Education their numero uno priority during junior year of high school, I had to defer until summer vacation because I was busy trying to distinguish myself academically by taking the extra college prep courses.  Did it pay off?  TBD.  Though I did finish college…eventually.  

But during those six weeks before my driving exam I was dialed in on acing that test and it was nearly all I could think about.  I think a good visual would be major leaguer Gary Sheffield up to bat, with his bat oscillating viciously behind him ready to unwind an immense force guided by those characteristic beady eyes that led one to believe that he was always on some psycho-stimulant.  My instrument would be a red 1999 Dodge Stratus (stick shift).  I am still proud to say that I aced both the practice and actual exam.  I was the only one in my class to accomplish this.

But things really hit home the day after I picked up my license.  I’m sure my parents were dreading it but I got in the car and drove down the driveway…by myself.  After a few miles I glanced at the empty passenger seat and truly went berserk.  It was a chaotic episode of expletives, gasps, and forehead slaps.  The next step in the evolution was to blast some Lenny Kravitz (”Fly Away”), roll down all the windows, and don my Foakleys.  I had arrived.  I was in complete control of over 3,000 lbs of metal on four wheels and it would go in any direction that I commanded.  

Unfortunately somewhere along the road of life driving loses it’s thrill to the drudgery of routine and responsibility.  But it doesn’t have to stay that way!  Driving can still be fun.  It just takes some planning and a positive attitude for a more serene and mature experience.  We live in a society nearly crazed on competition and it would suggest that the only way to have fun driving again is to go racing.  But what I’m talking about is a genuine and refined experience that can be cherished as a cultural pastime.  Something that a couple or a father and a son can enjoy together.  I then officially beckon for the revival of the leisure drive or Sunday driving.  And to help America get this back, I am highlighting a road that is under-appreciated and prime for such enjoyment.

I was recently in Rhode Island.  It’s the tiniest state in the U.S. and 30 miles south of the capital Providence is an island with a town called Newport.  This was the summer destination for the upper crust during the Gilded Age.  The fabulously wealthy needed summer homes so mansions were built on incredibly grand scales along the shore.  The main roadway for the southern coast of Newport is Ocean Drive.  

Ocean Drive is a fantastic road.  A speed limit of 25 mph prevents the scenery from flying by too quickly.  Though the gentle curves and hills still allow for gentle sensations of speed.  On a clear day you can start with a view of the two mile long Newport Bridge straddling Narragansett Bay which is usually teeming with sailboats of all sizes and configuration.  The rocky coastline is a favorite for recreational fisherman and their curious and canine best friends.  The waves crashing against the crags sends the unmistakable aroma of sea salt wafting over Ocean Drive.  (Constantly reminding me of my favorite flavor of potato chips.)

There are numerous beaches and some are highly exclusive.  The style of architecture for the residential properties run the gambit from old and awesome looking to modern and awesome looking.  On one bend in the road there is a parking area for people to stop and picnic or enjoy the scene.  Thanks to the consistent winds this spot is a favorite to fly kites.  And it is a unique thing to drive under dozens of kites.  I would rent a convertible just to accentuate this experience alone.

Finally at the end of Ocean Drive you make a right turn onto Bellevue Avenue which comprises the Bellevue Avenue Historic District.  The avenue has many of the mansions built by various captains of industry during the Gilded age (a period of unparalleled wealth and prosperity).  I’m not even going to begin to describe the grand scale of these mansions, but the aristocracy in the air is so palpable you could swear you had somehow wound up across the Atlantic in Versailles.

So there’s a lot of neat things to see that are sure to send an ordinary teenager’s eyes rolling from apathy.  Well America, it’s time to wake up and face our antipathy towards reality.  There are a lot of sources of influence out there that would rather have us watching TV all Saturday becoming aware of corporate America’s brands and products.  I was in Newport on Saturday and I went for a drive just for the pleasure of it.  My car wasn’t brand new, I didn’t look like Robert Redford, and I wasn’t trying to impress anyone.  I have a very pleasing image left in my mind of the sun setting behind a boat and an island that I know nothing about.  My imagination is still concocting fantastic anecdotes about who may have lived in one of the castles I saw.  And the sky was dotted with kites as I drove with the slightest of smiles.  That was my Saturday and I felt like I had arrived…again.

Left lane lingerers.  You know exactly what I am talking about.  These are the drivers who have chosen to ignore the cryptic highway signs that read “slower traffic keep right” or “keep right except to pass.”  It might be confusing if one considers the ambiguity of the keyword “right,” otherwise these signs might be interpreted as asking the driver to maintain correctness.  It’s actually confusing…

In 1956 President Eisenhower signed the Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956 into law.  Its purpose was to build over 40,000 miles of limited-access, two-lane highway.  With World War II still fresh on everyone’s mind the major rationale was to allow for swift movement of military personnel and equipment throughout the country in the event of another war.  (Minimum overpass clearances were set according to the dimensions of mobile rocket launchers.  Sweet.)  The Eisenhower Interstate System eventually grew into a role as the circulatory system for America’s commerce.  It also redefined how future generations would work and live, giving rise to suburbia.  Sweet.

Those original 40,000 miles had a minimum of two lanes in each direction.  One for traveling, and one for passing.  Let me reiterate: one lane is meant for traveling (the right lane), and the other lane is meant for passing (the left lane).  If a Peterbilt is hauling a bazillion tons of gravel up Donner Pass, you can safely pass at speed and you will not be delayed from satiating your blackjack addiction in Reno.  But after more than half a century there still exists some confusion to this traveling/passing convention.

Perhaps we could use some exemplary behavior to look up to.  We then need a country that is both highly ordered, organized and efficient.  That’s easy: Germany.  

The Autobahn is truly a wondrous automotive experience.  Honestly it puts America’s interstate system into a second tier.  Take the worst section of the Autobahn and I bet that it’s still higher quality than an average section of America’s highways.

The Autobahn is typically three lanes.  Lane three is used by trucks and underpowered subcompacts.  Lane two is for average traffic.  And lane one is for important, rich, and/or good-looking people.  This lane is nearly exclusive to high-end sports cars doing 100+ mph.  It can be dangerous to be doing anything less than 70 mph in this lane.  What I love about the German character is that the respect for order and efficiency allows no room for the ego on the Autobahn.  If a car is in lane one and a Porsche 911 is bearing down from behind, the Porsche only needs to flash the high-beams once and the first car will slip into lane two.  Simple.  No confusion.

But it’s not that simple back here across the pond.  Let’s explore some typical scenarios.

There is a lingerer in the left lane with a car approaching from behind at speed.  The first flash of the high-beam goes unheeded by the lingerer.  Then just as the overtaking car starts the lane change into the right lane, the lingerer does the same and an awkward dance is done as both cars sort out who is going where.  It’s highly dangerous, confusing, and the situation is easily avoided altogether.  I hate when this happens.

Now there is a stubborn lingerer in the left lane.  These are the drivers who regard lane one as the object of their personal automotive Manifest Destiny (Eisenhower was obviously thinking only of them.)  The overtaking car changes to the right lane and initiates a pass.  Just for spite the lingerer increases speed and the overtaking car is eventually blocked from passing by additional traffic in the right lane.  This is immature, and it happens all the time.  I hate when this happens.

We need Barack Obama to appoint German Prime Minister Angela Merkel as secretary for the Department of Transportation.  Hopefully she can bring some of that Autobahn order and inject it into our highway behavior.  Or maybe some negative reinforcing electroshock therapy for those left lane lingerers.  That sounds fun, possibly radical, but definitely prudent.  That will be change I can believe in.