Left Lane Lingerers
Left lane lingerers. You know exactly what I am talking about. These are the drivers who have chosen to ignore the cryptic highway signs that read “slower traffic keep right” or “keep right except to pass.” It might be confusing if one considers the ambiguity of the keyword “right,” otherwise these signs might be interpreted as asking the driver to maintain correctness. It’s actually confusing…
In 1956 President Eisenhower signed the Federal Aid Highway Act of 1956 into law. Its purpose was to build over 40,000 miles of limited-access, two-lane highway. With World War II still fresh on everyone’s mind the major rationale was to allow for swift movement of military personnel and equipment throughout the country in the event of another war. (Minimum overpass clearances were set according to the dimensions of mobile rocket launchers. Sweet.) The Eisenhower Interstate System eventually grew into a role as the circulatory system for America’s commerce. It also redefined how future generations would work and live, giving rise to suburbia. Sweet.
Those original 40,000 miles had a minimum of two lanes in each direction. One for traveling, and one for passing. Let me reiterate: one lane is meant for traveling (the right lane), and the other lane is meant for passing (the left lane). If a Peterbilt is hauling a bazillion tons of gravel up Donner Pass, you can safely pass at speed and you will not be delayed from satiating your blackjack addiction in Reno. But after more than half a century there still exists some confusion to this traveling/passing convention.
Perhaps we could use some exemplary behavior to look up to. We then need a country that is both highly ordered, organized and efficient. That’s easy: Germany.
The Autobahn is truly a wondrous automotive experience. Honestly it puts America’s interstate system into a second tier. Take the worst section of the Autobahn and I bet that it’s still higher quality than an average section of America’s highways.
The Autobahn is typically three lanes. Lane three is used by trucks and underpowered subcompacts. Lane two is for average traffic. And lane one is for important, rich, and/or good-looking people. This lane is nearly exclusive to high-end sports cars doing 100+ mph. It can be dangerous to be doing anything less than 70 mph in this lane. What I love about the German character is that the respect for order and efficiency allows no room for the ego on the Autobahn. If a car is in lane one and a Porsche 911 is bearing down from behind, the Porsche only needs to flash the high-beams once and the first car will slip into lane two. Simple. No confusion.
But it’s not that simple back here across the pond. Let’s explore some typical scenarios.
There is a lingerer in the left lane with a car approaching from behind at speed. The first flash of the high-beam goes unheeded by the lingerer. Then just as the overtaking car starts the lane change into the right lane, the lingerer does the same and an awkward dance is done as both cars sort out who is going where. It’s highly dangerous, confusing, and the situation is easily avoided altogether. I hate when this happens.
Now there is a stubborn lingerer in the left lane. These are the drivers who regard lane one as the object of their personal automotive Manifest Destiny (Eisenhower was obviously thinking only of them.) The overtaking car changes to the right lane and initiates a pass. Just for spite the lingerer increases speed and the overtaking car is eventually blocked from passing by additional traffic in the right lane. This is immature, and it happens all the time. I hate when this happens.
We need Barack Obama to appoint German Prime Minister Angela Merkel as secretary for the Department of Transportation. Hopefully she can bring some of that Autobahn order and inject it into our highway behavior. Or maybe some negative reinforcing electroshock therapy for those left lane lingerers. That sounds fun, possibly radical, but definitely prudent. That will be change I can believe in.
